I always win second place. Since day one have I been fighting for the approvel of my superiors, and since day one have I always come in second place. It's a frustrating thing to live with but no worries, I only spend a few moments crying about it. I might as well clue you in to the predicament I face. (Please, I mean this to be no sob-story.) In my family, those that save the most receive the most...praise that is. If you can go on a shopping trip with any type of coupon and come back saving more than somebody else, then you are worthy to be a Coupon God, in a way I guess. This little competition used to mean nothing to me, couponing was something the women-folk did, a menial chore. That was until one day, I came home from the grocery store to brag to my wife that I had saved us three whole dollars on some shampoo using some coupons p&g. "That's great honey..." she replied...but I beat you by a little bit. I used a buy one get one free of the same p&g coupons and got us new razors. Looks like you took second place." With a quick kiss on the cheek, she left to put her spoils from the day away. I was left in the kitchen gwaking at what had just occured. I was astounded. I thought she would be proud of my purchase, which she was in a way seeing as how she beat me. That bites....she beat me...left me in second place. And that was the start of the competition that now plagues me: I always win second place.
To me, winning second place isn't good enough, and you probably feel the same way. (Consider this my pep talk for a moment) If you want a satisfying feeling, a trophy that looks way too cool to be true, admiring fans, and cash, you gotta go for first place. Besides, second place is just the first loser, and believe me, no one wants to be a loser. I've spent my time in the shadows, I've lived my past a step behind everybody else, now it's time for me to reach my glory! To take my place among the Hall of Famers, to bask in the rays of my radiency! I will no longer win second place.
What's my secret weapon? My Trojan Horse? My nuclear bomb? In truth, online coupons. I know it sounds ridiculous but I believe it to be my ticket out of the loser ring. I've all ready applied to a few websites to get some coupons. And all ready the coupons are flying to my computer, ready to be printed and redeemed. Savings on things like coupons p&g and I haven't even left the comfort of my home.
So cheers to the future may it be filled with prosperity and happiness, but most importantly may it exude a brillance and a spot for me on the first place stand.